officially degree holder story..but...

dear my bloggie..how are you?

its been a while since my last entry..here i would like to share my yesterday convocation ceremony ..first of all..i would like to praise to Allah..Alhamdullillah..syukur sangat-sangat..after a year i waiting for this day..a year already...time fly so fast..in just blink of the eye..a year had past..memory..only memory i can recall as substitute of my feeling..feeling sad..i miss my student life story..i miss my teenager time..i miss the environment of study place..i miss my rent house..and of course i miss all my friend..miss a lot..

and yesterday..is my day..wearing jubah, hood and mortar board for the second time..i am happy..proud of myself i can finish my study, even though the journey is full with challenging..and finally,  it reach to the end... Alhamdullillah.. at the moment i saw my reflect to the mirror while i was wearing the maroon jubah..i feel so proud of myself..but one thing is missing..i soothing my own feeling..i said "it's o.k.."

when i saw my friends..they wearing the same jubah as me of coz..i feel so proud of them..i saw the happiness..we were chatting happily..most of them success with their job..i am proud again..my friend with their own career..last year we still together..but now we cannot repeat the moment again..only memory...

                                     


                                           


and to my dear and beloved friend..it was about 6 year already right?..this past 6 years we are going through so much difficulty and happiness together..you know me well and so do i..we love clinging each other..our stupid joke..even till now isn't it?..we cry sometimes...we tell our story good or bad..we listen to each other..and sometime we misunderstood as well..fight..but we can fix it in any minute..that was us..because we really know each other..god give us more time to spend while we further our study from diploma to degree..and we should say thank to Allah..jodoh kita bersama masih dipanjangkan..not like our long lost diploma frenz..and yesterday we wearing the jubah again my beloved friend..we success finally..thanx for being my friend..you like my other half you know nuraziela zulkifli @ alang...hehehe..congrast once again my friend...

                                            

even in the happiness moment..still i cannot throw away my feeling inside..empty..missing..while capture a photo with my abah and abang yesterday..i draw a photo in my mind...i imagine mak beside me..looking at me take the scroll on the stage..looking at me walk proudly while enter in that big hall..take picture together as abah on my right while mak on my left side..same as my diploma moment..but..it was just my imagination..

and that time...abah know i am sad..abah said to me.."abah nak belikan kau bunga..jom" but it was raining heavily..i said its ok lah abah..hujan lebat..then he just passing by..get my the flower..how touching it was..your sacrifice abah...until now..never failed..i know you want make me happy as much as you can..u wanna make my day..i know..you feeling the same as well..terima kasih abah..even the flower you give it just ordinary..not like others...for me..your flower is much..much more beautiful in the world..i love you abah...
and i would like to dedicated my degree to mak and abah..this is for you guys..without both of you..i will not
able standing here today..i will try my best as i can to give happiness to you...

                                          

                                          


                                          

                                         

                                  "thank you Allah for this gift..
                      happy graduation day everyone!! =)"

i love you..please be o.k

Salam ahad my dear bloggie..
   Seems like a long ago i'm not updating my blog...well, today feel like want to share somethng..yeah..something..story..a sad one..i dont know how to start..but it is..i really want to show how i feel inside..

Hurmm..actually i'm really scared..yeah i'm scared..scared to lost somebody that i really..really love..love damn much..it hurt me to see them in pain..but the thing that i really afraid of..had happened finally..without any thought..then..for the first time i saw my dearly mother admit to hopital..this is kind of history..my parent never admit to hospital all this while..but it happened..it really scared me to death..i swear..it is..

And im crying..cry and cry..until there is no tears to flow up..this is so much pain.whenever i see my mother had so many injection..my mother is not a maniquen..but i know they just do their job..but i really feel the pain..the pain in my chest..when i see the scrnario..the image is still there..

i am sorry mom..i cant do anything..but one thing is for sure..i will be there..beside you..to care of you..to accompany you..to help you when you need something..because i love you so much..so..so much..and the thing that i did is the same like what you have done for me...no..no not only me mother..but for us..you take care of us..help us..raising us until we growing up..thanx a lot mother..whatever i do..i still cannot pay all the sacrifice that you and abah had done...

I am sorry..if you not feel the happiness yet..but i promise i am trying to bri g those hapiness to both of you..i just need your bless mak abah...thanx for everything...i love you guys so much...

Dear Allah..thanx  still give me tbis chance..in whatever happend in the past..i will not blame it..may be rezeki still not in my side..because i have this precious momment with my parent..to take care of them..i believe in you dear God..coz "rezeki itu datangnya dari-MU ya Allah.."semoga di kemudian hari akan ada sinar yang menerangi...AMin..

someday..

dah bosan asek mengadap jobstreet je..hurmm..nak apply ape lagi tak tahu..menganggur dan terus menganggur..apala nasib aku ni..risau pulak rasa..umur dah 25 tahun..tahun depan dah 26 tahun..boyfriend pun tak ada lagi..boyfriend?? hurmm..entahlah..takut memang takut..tapi aku tak ada perasaan la..macam mana ni yek? memang aku tak nafikan..ada seseorang yang sentiasa menunggu aku..tapi aku rasa aku memang tak boleh dengan dia..aku pun tak tahu kenapa..seolah--olah dah tertutup pintu hati untuk dia..dan untuk orang lain juga...aku masih tak dapat nak membuka hati..mungkin aku berada di dalam keadaan yang selesa macam ni...bebas..bebas sebebas-bebasnya...tak peduli nak buat apa.tak perlu pikir hati siapa nak jaga..sebab diri aku..aku yang punye..mungkin itu sebabnya...

tapi...sampai bila nak macam ni kan? orang lain berlumba-lumba cari duit nak kawin cepat-cepat..tapi aku..masih duduk bawah tempurung kelapa..gelap..sunyi...haih~ entah la...hari-hari yang berlalu...i just hope will getting better...i hope so that i will find my job and will get sombody that i really love and somebody that love me as well...hanya berpegang pada kata-kata pujangga.." Someday.. you will find someone, who will watch every sunrise with you until the sunset of your life"