CRYING IN MY HEART..

Tika keheningan aku bagai dibuai

Dinginnya malam yang panjang

Tika kegelapan sayu unggas berdendang

Mengubat hati yang rawan

Bagaikan dinginnya malam yang suram

Begitulah diriku diibaratkan

Dalam kesamaran ku rempuhi ranjau

Biarpun payah ku teruskan

Siapa memandang tidakkan ku hirau

Biarpun pedih ku tahankan

Jamahlah bintang

Beri daku sinaran

Semoga hati ku cekal

Akan ku teruskan walau harus ditelan

Seribu nista di tangan

Terbanglah hai unggas bebas di awan

Agar kan tercapai sinar gemerlapan

Tuhan ku inginkan secebis harapan

Hanya padamu ku serahkan

Apakah kan ada ketulusan jiwa

Yang menilai ku seadanya

Tuhan ku inginkan secebis harapan

Hanya padamu ku serahkan

Tuhan ku inginkan secebis harapan

Ku pasrah padamu Tuhan

Tuhan……

new progressing..

location updated: in new house..lawat tapak...

pencapaian terbaru aku..boleh drive alone dengan kadar kejauhan yang tak seberapa daripada rumah..nampkanya selamat sampai...Alhamdullillah..berjaya jugak..huhu pencapaian yang membanggakan jugak lah..walaupun jauhnya tak seberapa..tapi o.k la kan..bawak kereta abang aku pun satu pencapaian jugak aku rasa..haha..my bigest fear factor..dah berjaya aku atasi sedikit demi sedikit...

hopefully progress aku semakin baik dan positif..bila dah progress banyak positif...kadar keyakinan diri pun semakin bertambah jugak..hopefully la kan..mudah-mudahan dipermudahkan oleh yang Maha Kuasa..Aminnn..semoga sentiasa selamat dan dilindungi oleh-Nya...

the rhytm..

i have gain my confident level now..haha..despite still have a piece of nervousness in me..i hope it will be gone forever by the day i starting to drive for my self..hihihi..really..really hope by the day i have to start my work..i already grab the rhythm how to be a good driver..

excited!

hello my beloved site! i'm so excited to tell so many..many story..hehehe..fuhhh~ first of all i would like to say Alhamdullillah..thanks to Allah..finally all i wanted all this while is in my hand now..yeahh..i already get my job..although a lot of people told that my position is tough..i know..yeahh..but i would like to try it first..who knows right? maybe it suite for me haha..or else..maybe it can give me some experience . it  should be that way...always think positive..

second thing is..i already got my rent house..by the way thank to my sister and  my brother in law..because help me to find the living place for me..hehehe...the another thing is..i'm driving a car again..yeahh..again..but the problem is..manual car...fuhhh~ now-days is rare people using manual car right..? but me? uhh~ i have no choice then..i have my brother car..my father car..but all of that is manual..i just hope..i can control it..really..really hope for that..

last but not least..i wish by the end of this year..i can have my own car? is it realistic or not?hehehe..hope so right..

p/s: excited mood thinking of graduation day..can't wait...miss my friend a lot and a lot ^^

work out again!

tomorrow is going back to my kampung..and tomorrow i will take my lesson for driving again..ahahaha..such a silly girl of me! already got the license but cannot drive..great! i need to work out no matter what..fuhh~ i can do it! nervous actually..after 3 years long i never touch the stereng..wow! so impressive right?. i must do it!

Nora - Secebis Harapan

while i'm listening ti this song..it gave a lot of meaning for me.. all this while i feel lost..but i shouldn't give up right? because i knew Allah is always by my side..just me who didn't notice at all..i believe in Allah..Aku percaya segalanya sudah ditentukan oleh-Nya..i cannot lose hope..if everything is setup is yours..then it will yours..but if it didn't..then we know the answer right? just beserah to Allah..

p/s : secebis harapan utk diri sendiri..hehe

50/50

this morning i was awakened by my sister phone call..she ask me to call ambank again..well..my phone is left in my sister house..how come huh? i can be so clumsy you know..so i call back to ambank group.. so nervous actually. .haha..the he ask me about the application job..and ask some of random thing that related with my qualification..i do hope i can get this job...but one thing keep playing in my mind right now is...transport..

urghhhhh!! how?...so frustrated la..i want drive my father car..but..i never drive a car for 3 years already..of course my current sate now..i am so scared..but i have a confident ..just i need some practice . practice make perfect right?..but who will accompany me then?fuhhhhhhhh~sigh~

it burden me enough .i want this job..but if i get the job then, can i have a car and can i drive it well? so many..many questioning in my mind right now..how come huh? should i just stay quiet without doing anything? to find job nowadays is not an easy...if i could have this job this time..it really luck for me..and i will proud of me..but how..??? God please help me...

pray for sabah

what happened in Sabah currently is so unexpected..i have read the article in some blog..it is really disappointing! how could certain people make stupid statement! i meant every single thing happened in  Sabah..why must be politicize? think before talk dude! you live in Malaysia not in Palestine..we want peace not war! should be support and pray for them..not insulting them! they risked their life for the sake of our country.. don't blame each other..why can't all the party in this country be united at least once??is it possible? just for our beloved country..

                              

PLANNING Again..

hello Monday!

when i woke up this morning..o.k not really morning by the way..i started thinking..how many time that i have wasted without doing anything? day by day..week by week..and month passes so fast..i'm getting scared you know..i felt like..like..like what huh? i don't know how to explain how  do i felt right now..i'm just don't know..what kind of life that i will have in the future?..is this normal feeling to people whom unemployed like me? word 'scared' is always in me now..

i need some money...not some actually..but i need much money..money to buy a car..yess..i really..really wanted it right now..but how? i can even have job..how could i?i really..really stress..stress..please..give me some job..whatever it is..

hurmmm..i think like..i want to work at mall for temporarily..at least i can have some saving right?even though not much..the ranking salary in the highest once i think maybe around RM900..i should try from the earlier..now i regretted again..i should done it a long time before..that is always me..do it without long term thinking..then i'm the one who will regret all of it..well i deserved it..thanks to myself..uwaaaaa~

so, for the next step..this coming Thursday i will go to my sister's house again..so i think..better i use this opportunity to seeking for a job..! i hope it can give me some light of my life..uwuuuuuuuu~hope so..hehehe..
planning is always planning..make sure u do it nomie! dont just say it!

I HAVE NOTHING...NOTHING

today is sunday...

as usual..lazy Sunday.. bored Sunday..and mayday-mayday ..hahaha..well..my current location updated in my hometown..yess..i'm backkkkk! after a feww week spent my time without doing nothing in my sister's house..hurmm..jobless..jobless...that is me..how come? when i can have a proper job? speaking about the job..actually i have been offer to work in insuran company at k.L..what? K.l? uhuuuu..if i could, i want to avoid working in k.l..maybe lot of people said that k.l is one of the huge  opportunity to get a job..yes that's right..i admit it..but i need to think so many..many thing..in term of living place, transportation, and so on..if basic salary is under than RM 2000..can i have a saving?  even if i get more than that..i think is quite hard for me..i know myself well...i know i can't afford with the low salary while live  in that big city..i know..i have once live in there..as student..with the allowance that i get from my study loan plus from my parents..still not enough.. ..but when i have an offer RM 1500 and living in my hometown..i think is more than enough right?..but...it is  hard to get job in here as well..waiting..and waiting..

i felt guilty actually to my bff ..she offer me that job but then i refuse and rejected the offer..but i don't want to make wrong decision..it's tough for starting work in there..wrong decision? did i make correct decision now? hurmm..i don't know either..whatever it is i hope my bff not angry with me..

in that time..i have done with a few interview..from bank..looks like i have a little hope for working in bank..but still..i am not put high expectation to get this job..coz i know its not an easy right..but i just hope i get the job..but ..and but again huh? yess.. felt a liltle bit confusing..lets say i get this job..then how i want to go to work while i am not drive a car..i do have a licens..but..again..but i'm not used drive car..it must awkward .and hard for me..how come huh? duhh..my dad's car is manual then..ohooo..why not auto??? should i rent for a car..the auto once? duhh..really burden my brain to think all that stuff..

i think i don't have a choice..i need to work out in driving..i have to and i should  do it..but again..who will accompany me..and teach me?my bro? oh definitely not o.k...i more prefer other people than my own bro..i know them well..urghhhh~useless..hurmmm...what should i do now? with no money..no car..i have nothing..nothing...sob~sob~sob